Immortality is not an option, so we must face the music sooner or later. On a grand scale, the life of a person is not very noticeable; thousands of people embark on their last journey every day. Yet, those closest to us feel particularly special. I’ve been told that everyone processes such an event in their own way, and I’m no different.
For some, the journey starts abruptly, while for others, the beginning stretches out, like trailers in a movie theater before the main show. The prolonged ones seem to be the most difficult. Horrible pain and suffering, without even a glimpse of hope. Can you imagine being sick—having an endless flu, a fever that never breaks, constant headaches, muscle pain, coughing, and a runny nose? And along with all of this, you know, you understand, there is no getting better. There is no recovery. This will end in only one way. Now, multiply that pain several times over.
Departures are always sad. We miss loved ones, even when they embark on a great journey, yet these departures aren’t typically accompanied by excruciating pain that lasts for months on end. After all the pain, suffering, and goodbyes, the journey begins. So shouldn’t we rejoice that our loved one has finally embarked? Shouldn’t we feel some happiness, at least for their sake? Not for our own selfish feeling of being left behind, but joy for their journey—for their release, for the end of their suffering, when nothing more could be done. I don’t know the right answer. I just feel serene, with a trickle of sadness and joy. In my mind, it is not about me; it is about them, wherever they are now.
Miata At The Gap is the largest and longest-running gathering of Miata enthusiasts in the USA, and I finally went there. I bought my Miata (or MX-5) back in 2020 and had been contemplating going to MATG for a while. The main challenge was the drive to North Carolina, which is roughly 11-12 hours from Detroit. However, this year, due to family circumstances, I finally realized: I wanted to go and therefore I must go. None of us are getting any younger, so there is no better time than now.
I wasn’t entirely sure what I was doing, and as it turns out – it was just fine! I booked a cabin in Nantahala Village since it had one small but crucial advantage – a pool. The pool was important since I was bringing my kid along, and she loves to swim. Also, I wasn’t sure how she would handle the drive, as she gets motion sickness, but it has been improving over the last few years. Looking back, it was absolutely the right call. I didn’t pack much (MATG officially lasts 3 days), but I packed clothes for 6 days (sometimes it gets very hot and humid, so extra clothes), a liter of water, and toiletries. I read a few things about MATG but didn’t dig deep, partly because I didn’t have enough time and partly because it might just be a bit more fun to discover things as I go along.
Let me tell you, MATG was fun. Most of the fun is derived from the location – the mountains are awesome, and driving a Miata there is just a blast. Even better is driving along with other Miatas. The event is awesome; people are nice, easy-going, and just fun to hang out with. There are all kinds of people, from young to old, kids, gramps, ladies, gentlemen, and everything in between. It’s just lovely! While the majority of people are from North Carolina and nearby states, there are people who make the journey from afar. I saw a few Wisconsin plates. It is a strange feeling, even though you don’t know anyone, but you feel like you belong.
Even though I didn’t get to drive as much as I wanted, I saw enough to say that the roads are fairly dangerous. Guard rails are few and far between, mostly placed in areas with an insufficient number of trees. My guess is that trees act as natural safety barriers, which I presume will prevent you from dropping down to the bottom of the mountain but will NOT prevent you from ruining your car and yourself in case you go off the road. Roads are narrow and don’t have much of a shoulder, so there is no room for error. Still, mountain roads are a blast, and most of them are limited to 70-90 km/h. I drove on the Tail of the Dragon twice, on the way in and on the way out, and the road is violent. The speed limit is 50 km/h, and there are good reasons for it. It is not safe, just like the rest, but it has such wild turns – the closest description is like going on a roller coaster ride but in your own car without any safety equipment. Now, the level of danger is proportional to the speed, so go slow, and it is safe. I like driving and have driven enough in my life that I never get motion sickness or any discomfort. Well, I should probably say I never had discomfort while driving before I met the Tail of the Dragon. Granted, I didn’t shy away from driving as fast as I could safely manage, but even then, I got a slightly uncomfortable feeling, not motion sickness but slightly light-headed. In my mind, the Tail of the Dragon definitely deserves its fame.
Miata at the Gap is an awesome event. It is easy-going, friendly, and comfortable for anyone. The location is just perfect for any car enthusiast and even more so for roadsters. If you ever wondered about going there, just go! Tail of the Dragon has a lot of events besides MATG. I hope to come back and drive more.
A couple of things to know: • Cell connectivity in the mountains is spotty at best; there is no connectivity at Fontana Village, so don’t count on it. However, there is free wifi in shops, so download maps beforehand or stop by a shop and download there (that’s what I did). • Fill up a full tank of gas before going into the mountains. There are gas stations, but they are far and few between. Also, they might not have premium gas (if you need it). It is safer to fill up before going. • Mountain roads are public roads, patrolled by police, so drive according to the rules. • Stores like Walmart are far (about a 1-hour drive from Fontana Village), so if you want to get groceries, plan ahead. Or just have a fun run through the mountain roads.
Everyone is different; all of us mutate slightly in different ways, and we don’t all come out identical—well, at least most humans don’t. This bundle of differences is called humanity. I guess that’s what makes it fun—a randomness factor. For some reason, I’ve never liked cycles. In a way, cycles annoy me. The irony is that over time I started to embrace routine, but not for the sake of it, but rather due to an aging body.
20 years ago, I got a gig at a car parts factory, working the night shift, packing plastic parts and cleaning floors when it was slow. The job sucked; I didn’t like working nights and going to sleep when everyone was out and about. But what bothered me the most was the job itself—the endless repetition of the same steps, over and over again, all night long and the next night and the next. It seemed like an endless cycle of doing exactly the same things over and over again.
Although I enjoy video games, the reason I don’t tend to play a lot (besides not having enough free time) is the repetitive cycle. Yes, different cycles and repetitions with a different combination of red, green, and blue on the screen, yet with sufficiently different cycles to get me bored or annoyed. There are only so many times I can go on a quest to kill 10 boars or whichever virtual animal is demanded by a virtual quest giver. Now I’m not complaining about games; I do enjoy them—I played Diablo repeatedly—I just want to point out my own personal mutation for lack of a better word.
Life itself seems annoying; it is repetitive cycles with a different given at each new start. You are 10, so you need to do this and that. You made it to 20 – education time, 30 – family time, 40 – wealth gathering time, 50 – health…, 60 – retirement… and so on. The illustration is crude but has some merit to it. Does it have to go that way? Well… no. There are different ways life can be played or be played out. Hey, remember: “live fast, die young”? – it is a viable option too. If I had a choice, I would probably go to the other extreme; let’s do the whole life thing for a few hundred years and then decide.
Human time constraints seem to put us into well-defined, optimized, and seemingly inescapable cycles. Each cycle presents its challenges, and there’s never enough time. Ricardo Semler had an interesting idea about working less and spending more time on ourselves early on and not waiting for retirement when the body is broken and tired. His arguments and ideas were very convincing! As much as I would love to implement that, I do not live in theory; bills are due, time is running, and food should be on the table. So cycles continue… meanwhile, we miss moments, and before you know it, people near and dear start to die off.
Those endless cycles of being busy, accomplishing things that seem meaningless now. If only we had more time, more time to make educated choices, more time to figure out priorities, more experience to understand what’s important to ourselves. Perhaps one day we may get more time, but for now, the only thing is to dispense it conservatively.
It’s fun to be back in a large city, but it feels less thrilling somehow, perhaps because of the ‘been there, done that’ feeling, or maybe because I’m older now and have a child, which limits the fun options.
I haven’t been to Chicago in 13 years, yet it remains largely the same, at least downtown does. It makes me think about how human construction transcends time—13 years is a lot for me but nothing for the city. We managed to go see the Field Museum and it was exactly the same as it was 13 years ago; moreover, the food carts outside the museum have stayed in the same locations. It’s strange to look at a structure and wonder how a human being 200 years from now will view it. Yet, that is exactly what is, or will be, happening. It’s a very strange feeling indeed.
A few takeaways from the trip: my 7-year-old gets tired and bored too quickly, so wandering around all day is out of the question, and forget about spending any meaningful amount of time in any museum. The aquarium is horribly overpriced; the Toledo Zoo offers a better aquatic experience. The Gilmore Car Museum is very nice—I would love to visit it again and spend more time there. The Art Institute of Chicago seems a lot bigger than Detroit’s. Tryzub – really nice Ukrainian restaurant.
Between Covid and other complications, it’s been nearly five years since we ventured out. Yet again, we went to a resort, mostly because my wife had a deep desire to see the blue, blue ocean with a beautiful sandy beach and lack of other options at the time.
Despite overall satisfaction with Principe Bahia in the Dominican Republic, we went to Catalonia in Playa Maroma, Mexico. Now, I know, Mexico gets a certain reputation – cartels, drugs, shootings, poverty and such, but I believe the news paints a much worse picture than what the average vacationer will encounter. In reality, I think Mexico might be a bit safer than the Dominican Republic, but I’ll touch on it later.
Travel:
One big perk of Mexico is its proximity to the USA, and that translates into a relatively short fly time of less than 4 hours from Detroit to Cancun. Considering you have to arrive at the airport at least 2 hours before the flight, you might actually spend more time wandering around the airport than flying. In case you are flying out early in the morning, pack some food with you so you can have breakfast, since all restaurants/coffee shops at Detroit airport open up around 6 – 6:30.
Cancun airport is smaller than Detroit one but a lot more charming (IMHO). One curious layout difference is that every arrival and departure you get to walk through a Duty-Free store. I find the Duty-Free a lovely feature because I get to buy a few things that are hard or impossible to get at the resort and/or would cost you an arm and a leg. For example: it is impossible to find 18-year-old Flor de Cana rum at the resort, the best they can do is 5-7 years old. I’ll touch on the shopping a bit more later.
Now, the shuttle service to Playa Maroma was underwhelming at best and confusing at worst. No one met us; we just kinda stumbled outside and started looking for any sign of anyone who is looking for us. Ah, a very silly idea, since everyone is looking for you in Mexico: taxi, limo, bus and whatever other services. After a few minutes of the bedlam, we stopped a person that seemed to be familiar with the situation and asked for an Expedia shuttle. We got redirected to Expedia reps who were quietly standing to a side. After that, we got to stand around, waiting for more travelers, then we got to stand some more at a parking lot, waiting for a mini-van, then we got to sit in bad Cancun traffic (mostly due to construction) and as fate would have it, we got pulled over by the national guard and waited some more. I have to mention separately that the shuttle back was prearranged, but for whatever reason, I had to call some phone number and make sure we got a ride back to the airport. Overall shuttle experience was somewhat ok, but in the Dominican Republic, we got much, much better service.
Resort:
There are all sorts of resorts: big, small, adults-only, kid-friendly, and so on. At the end of the day, picking a resort comes down to your preferences and priorities. Our priorities were the beach, food, and kid-friendliness. My wife picked Catalonia in Playa Maroma because of these priorities, and we were not disappointed. Playa Maroma is a small resort that feels right down my alley. There is one jungle path that takes you all the way from the lobby to the pool plaza, past rooms, shops, along some restaurants, and other facilities. The size of the resort allows you to walk everywhere, and that is just lovely, as I really hated taking tiny shuttles at Principe Bahia resort in the Dominican Republic. There are also small shops, a coffee shop, mini food trucks, and of course, a bar by the beach and in the pool.
Another notable difference, in comparison with Principe Bahia, is that you don’t have to go to the bar. There is actual staff walking around who will take care of you, which is very nice and at times super convenient. Moreover, the bars seem to be sized and staffed properly, so there is rarely a big lineup or long wait. As far as the bar is concerned, Catalonia has it nailed.
One feature that stood out to me is internet availability. It looks like every resort likes to advertise “free internet” but asks for extra if you want internet in your room or anywhere else outside of the lobby. But Catalonia actually provides internet connection everywhere within the confines of the resort, and I mean everywhere – even at the beach, you are literally standing in the water and have internet connection. Now, one caveat with network coverage is the lobby bathroom. Wi-Fi connectivity there is so poor that it is basically non-existent. It’s somewhat puzzling considering that two meters away, you have perfectly fine connection; it must be something within the bathroom walls.
One nice touch is the coffee shop at the resort. I would love to compare it to Starbucks, but I actually don’t go to Starbucks much, so I can’t compare. In any case, the coffee shop is very cozy, cute, and serves decent coffee. It has a large enough menu of drinks and sweets, but be ready to have a local Mexican twist to all the offerings. My wife took a liking to the coffee shop, and we were regulars right before it closes at 18:00.
Now, what about the food? First, let me make a short disclosure: I’m not picky with food, and I would probably be a poor critic. However, I have to admit, Mexican resorts seem to have better food, especially when it comes to restaurants. Moreover, you can have dinner at a restaurant every single night (in comparison to Principe Bahia). Unfortunately, during our stay, we managed to get minor food poisoning – no fever or downtime, but diarrhea didn’t spare any of us. I don’t know what food caused the issue, but it did, and it’s important to mention it. After visiting the nearby city of Playa del Carmen, I can definitely say one thing: don’t go to any resort for any special food experience, just pick a resort with decent food.
One definite win for Playa Maroma is the lack of drug dealers. It sounds strange, considering that the country has issues with cartels and drugs, but there are no drug dealers on the premises of the resort! One of the most repulsive things I found at Principe Bahia in the Dominican Republic was the fact that multiple resort employees were actively selling drugs. Moreover, there were many sketchy people with backpacks roaming the beach and offering all sorts of drugs. In Playa Maroma, I never met any employee that was offering drugs or any sketchy people with backpacks. So, are there no drugs? Well, no, there are drugs, but they are offered very discreetly and professionally. There is only one guy, with a backpack, sitting at the property line of the resort and offering anything you want. He is not hiding, but he is also not harassing anyone. As far as my experience goes, the Mexican beach feels pretty safe and welcoming for sunset walks.
The last thing that comes to my mind on the subject of the resort is irritations, and yes, there are a couple. The first is the lack of paper napkins! Anywhere you go, you have to look or ask for them. If you are looking for napkins yourself, most of the time you will not find any. It’s like having a localized paper napkin shortage, some artificial scarcity. I have been outside of the resort, and there are plenty of napkins available outside, so what’s the problem with paper napkins in the resort? Note: there is no shortage of toilet paper! I don’t get it, and hopefully, someone will figure out the mystery. The second irritation is tea spoons – they are always supplied reluctantly and in fewer numbers than required. For example, if you get three cakes for three people, you are provided with either one or, if you’re lucky, two spoons – perhaps they are encouraging sharing and community spirit. Another minor irritation is the lack of straws. My kid likes straws, and with a huge menu of drinks available for kids, there isn’t a single straw. I guess they are saving the planet.
Shopping:
Let me get a few things out of the way: the resort overcharges 2-3 times on some items and services. If possible, bring stuff with you as purchasing options are severely limited at the resort. I have to admit that our resort had better quality items and better prices in comparison to some tourist places outside of the resort. For example, we went to Tulum as part of a tour and were dropped off at a shopping plaza. Most of the items sold at the plaza were of poor quality and expensive. Be wary of touristy shops as they always start with horribly overpriced offerings, such as tequila for $200 per bottle.
If you are planning to venture outside by yourself, read about local transportation, prices, options, and negotiate upfront. The resort will overcharge you. For example, a taxi from Playa Maroma to Playa del Carmen costs anywhere between M$500-600. However, if you negotiate with a taxi yourself, you can get a ride for M$200. It took us two attempts to find a taxi willing to drive us back to the resort for M$200 – it doesn’t take long.
Now, if you want to get good prices on some local produce, you should definitely go to a local supermarket or Walmart. You can get well-known, good brand tequila such as Patron for around $40 and 18-year-old Flor de Cana for $47. Essentially, go to places where locals shop, and you’ll find fair prices. Now, just for comparison, the same Flor de Cana costs $60 at Duty-Free… Why the local store has it cheaper, I don’t know, but you can’t beat the convenience of Duty-Free.
I know I’m sticking restaurant experience into shopping, but hey, it happened during a shopping trip so… On the way to Playa del Carmen, the taxi driver recommended us to visit “El Pirata” restaurant for a seafood experience. When we got to the place, it didn’t look like much: tables, walls, pictures, waiters in bandanas, your normal Mexican restaurant oriented towards locals rather than American tourists. The first good sign was the daily special consisting of freshly caught sea produce. We decided to pick food out of the regular menu (I wish I had tried the special), and what we got was spectacular. The seafood salad was just excellent, the guacamole was awesome, and the deep-fried shrimp was so juicy… I believe it was one of the best seafood experiences that I ever had. The food was unbelievably fresh, tasty, and very reasonably priced. If I ever come back to the city, I’ll without a doubt visit El Pirata again!
Last word:
The trip was quite fun, kid grew up over last few years and priorities changed once again. No longer she has interest in slides or mini golf but now she wants to swim, dive and play in a pool. In that regard the resort was complete success since all day everyday (unless going on a tour or shopping) we spent at the pool. I don’t know if I would come back to the Catalonia resort in Playa Maroma, don’t get me wrong it is a very nice resort, but I’m just not sure I would like to spend time there again. Here is a deal, after visiting Playa del Carmen, it feels like it might be more fun to rent apartment or hotel room in the city and enjoy some of local restaurants, beaches and whatever else city is offering.
I have been slowly teaching my kid a bit of programming. Programming is not easy, and teaching it to a child is quite a challenge, so anything that makes it easier is welcome.
Initially, I have been using Scratch to teach programming, however, I moved away from it because it is not really that easy to use once you want to make something a bit more complex (even I had some issues following online tutorials) or teach a kid about some programming concepts such as for-loops.
Next, I tried Swift Playground, it is awesome, however, I got stuck on explaining for-loops. It might be easy for grown-ups to get a grasp of syntax and associated concepts, but for a child, it is a challenge.
I have been thinking about what to do next. Python? Well, maybe it is a good direction, but again syntax will get in the way of learning programming concepts… Today, I discovered Hedy and it looks very promising.
Just a blink of an eye and 2022 is gone. In the past few years, I was quite optimistic about the upcoming years, but this year finally broke my back… Covid, inflation, and finally war. I hate to sound like an old fart, but it’s getting harder to look optimistically into the future. I wonder if I’m just getting grumpier or if the world is making less and less sense – perhaps both are the same side of the same coin.
In any case, I’m happy that 2022 is finally over. I’m looking forward to 2023 and the victory of Ukraine. Perhaps after the war is over, the world will slow down just a bit and become a little boring for a while, giving us all time to catch our breath. I hope the economy will survive without going into a deep recession and that we can all just get a break. Well, at least I can dream and wish.
Couple of days ago, putler announced “partial mobilization” of 300 thousand men. In reality it is a full mobilization and numbers looking towards a million. It is not a good news for Ukraine, but let’s not forget, at the beginning of the war, situation was much worse.
As I was thinking about the mobilization, I decided to find a trailer for a documentary and it brought back memories of how fearlessly and courageously Ukrainians fought and continuing to fight. Mobilization will not help putler, it will not save anyone or anything, just one more stop on the way to hell.
Over last nearly three months we’ve been hosting refugees. Perhaps it is a noble cause, may be admirable but we did it because it seemed as the right thing to do – people needed help and I and my wife were in a good position to help. I believe it is the biggest selfless act we performed to date. But I’m not writing this to brag, I’m writing this because I’m deeply sad and somewhat mentally struggling to process the past three months.
Let me start by stating somewhat fascinating (at least to me) fact; in the last three months, I learned nearly nothing about these people. All the time it felt like they didn’t want to be bothered. After initial few of attempts by me and my wife, we frankly gave up. It felt like they were ignoring us as much as possible. Most of the time we walked into a common area, they would leave (even though we encouraged the use of common area). Efforts to socialize were made but ultimately failed. We still talked but mostly when they needed something: taking to places, food, documents, resume and stuff like that. Granted, our family is having hard time with traditional breakfast/lunch/dinner – we simply don’t have “get together and eat”. But once in a while we do, at one point we got together for Chinese food dinner and invited the refugees. Kids (age 8 & 12) didn’t bother joining and their mom joined but the conversation didn’t really take off, as soon as food was done she left to her room and closed the door.
The kids are fascinating, simply because I never encountered such behaviour before. They never said “good morning”, unless I said “good morning” to them first. Forget about “good night”, may be “thank you” couple of times. I never met such a shy/private kids before. I remember meeting a super geeky boy a while back, but even though he was super shy, he still seemed pretty happy to be noticed and talked to. In this case kids seemed to regard me as necessary evil (at least that’s the way I felt), unhappy about any conversation attempts and never wanting anything. I never met any less curious kids in my entire life. Whenever I attempted to offer anything, they would immediately say “no”, in some cases even before I managed to finish a sentence. I have a six year old and it seems she received exactly the same treatment after initial several days of hanging out with the refugees. I know older kids don’t always like to hanging out with younger ones. But total ignore? It was painful and somewhat fascinating to watch my kid, she seemed to figure it out on her own and after sometime didn’t even notice the refugees.
I don’t know if we offended them in any way, I keep thinking about it but it’s not like we had extended conversations or discussions about anything. Most of the time they just stayed in their room, the door closed and didn’t communicate with us. We helped as much as we could – as much as I wish my family had received in a similar situation. We bought their airplane tickets, beds, food, clothing (some used, some brand new), helped with paperwork, provided a car to practice driving, pickup from the airport (which is 4 hours away), introduced to some people we knew and my mom somehow managed to get summer camp for the kids free of charge (typically about $300 per week per kid) – thank you city hall! Yet as time rolled on, we all got a feeling that we were bothering them, my wife mentioned that we were given the “cold shoulder”.
After nearly three months, one day, as I was making a tea in the kitchen, the refugee lady came out of the room and told me that she needs help – a ride to Brampton. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to spend my weekend driving refugees 4 hours away and then returning home. Despite advice of everyone (who knew what’s happening), I decided to drive the refugees to Brampton, to make sure they got from my place to their destination safely. As the day of departure approached, I was tensing up, I thought to myself: surely, the refugees will at the very least come out the room and say “thank you” and “goodbye”. I didn’t expect a dinner or tea or cookies, I mean after spending so much time avoiding us, I really didn’t expect much, no hugs, just a simple old “thank you”. My wife chuckled at me and gave me a new name: “Eugenius Simpletonius Maximus”, implying that I’m kindly naive. My mom simply said: “you will receive no gratitude”. Friend of mine said: “she will not thank you” and added that I’m hopeless optimist, yet, I still believed in basic human gratitude. The final evening came and went, my mom received no thanks even though both of them were home all day long. Me and my wife came home in the evening, the door remained shut with light inside – no thanks or goodbye came to us either. I got deeply upset.
Early morning the refugee lady asked for help – to take luggage to the car. So I did, I had a nut in my stomach, I briefly considered driving them to the nearest train station and leaving them there, but decided against it. So we drove for 4 hours towards destination in complete and utter silence. I still could not believe what had happened and I definitely didn’t know what to say, I was in complete and utter shock, the lady made no attempt to talk to me or even look at me the whole drive. The final moments were memorable, as we arrived, I unloaded the car, looked at the lady – she was busy with her kids, I walked to the car, looked at her again, she was still not looking at me, I sat into the car, still no attention to me, I started the engine – she didn’t even turn around and I drove off. I didn’t wait around, figuring everyone else was right at the end of the day and I was dead wrong.
45 minutes after I drove off, the lady decided to send “thank you” emails to my mom and to my wife, an email, after nearly three month of stay and all the help, we got an email! At this point I didn’t argue with my wife when she said “she is not done with us, she needs something from us” and she was dead right once again.
P.S: I’m still deeply upset, I know it will pass… but I’m still having a hard time comprehending the last three months.
